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And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

Leela’s gonna kill me. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn’t make sense. But, okay!

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Shut up and take my money! I never loved you. And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? Shinier than yours, meatbag. Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute.

Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved. Oh right. I forgot about the battle.

No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that’s it. Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Kids have names? Do a flip!

Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat. One hundred dollars. You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.

Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions? Oh Leela! You’re the only person I could turn to; you’re the only person who ever loved me. No, I’m Santa Claus!

And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that’s it. No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Hey, whatcha watching? Who are those horrible orange men?

Ask her how her day was. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it.

OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want! Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? But existing is basically all I do!

Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat.
All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school!
I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? Oh God, what have I done? Oh God, what have I done? And when we woke up, we had these bodies. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?

For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! So, how ’bout them Knicks? Why yes! Thanks for noticing. Okay, I like a challenge.

Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that. Pansy. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. I’m sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in

 

 

 

 

Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?

 

 

 

D’oh. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing? Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency.

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. Save me, Jeebus. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!

Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention!
…And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.
Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention! Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! D’oh. Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Ahoy hoy? “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!

That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

…And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…

The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.

binaryoptionsmentor.com has applied multiple parameters to help binary options traders finding the binary options broker best suited to their own needs. traders can read binary options broker reviews, which provide an in-depth view of the best binary brokers in the industry, they also can browse the brokers’ comparison table and navigate around the guide which examines at all aspects and issues that you should examine prior to taking the important decision of which broker to trade through.

Back in 2008, when the trading of binary options as a retail online investment tool emerged there were but a few of platforms and brokers to choose from. Since then, the industry has expanded and grown in fast strides and currently, there are few hundred if not more brokers, offering binary options trading. Some do it through their own in-house developed platforms, while others are white labels of platform providers. In any case, the emergence of many brokers is a good development for the industry and for traders, since the competition amongst the brokers has resulted in the offering of better services, more bonuses, offers, conditions promotions and extra services. On the downside, however, with so many brokers to choose from, finding the right one might be tricky and needs time and effort. Thankfully, if you read our guide below you will be in a much better position to take the right decision as to which broker to prefer:

To Are you excited about entering the challenging and potentially lucrative world of binary options trading? Are you ready to trade the markets and make some cash? The charm and appeal of binary options is great, especially because their simplicity makes them accessible to even traders with little or no knowledge of the actual workings and technicalities of the markets. However, to capitalize on the opportunities created by the online retail trading of binary options, you need to find a really good broker to trade through. As every trader’s preferences and requirements are different and also as the offering of different brokers is diversified and the industry is constantly evolving and changing, we can safely agree that there is no such thing as a single best broker for all. However, there are many good, reliable and credible brokers out there, ready and willing to take your custom and make your trading experience an enjoyable and prosperous one. We have compiled this guide exactly with the aim of giving you a helping hand in the quest for the most suitable broker for you and enable you to find and access the best binary trading site for you with just the click of a button. So, without further ado, let us delve in:
What are binary options brokers?

To be able to compare, contrast, shift through and choose between brokers, you first need to know exactly what a binary options broker is, to be able to make your juxtaposition and final judgment effectively. Generally speaking, binary options brokerages are either exclusively dealing with the trading of binary options, or are brokerages who engage in the trading of other investment vehicles as well, such as CFDs or FX, but also have a binary options trading facility and venue as well. Because the existence of a highly safe, reliable, user-friendly and secure trading environment in which to conduct your trading is of paramount importance, we would recommend that you show your preference to binary options brokers who specialize in this form of trading and have developed the technological solutions and expertise to help make your trading more effective. In the same spirit, we would favor those binary options brokerages which are owned by big, reputable and therefore reliable financial services firms that have an established presence in the industry and can offer you a superb level of service. In few words, binary options brokers are ordinary brokerages, which, though, either provide only features for binary options trading, or different ways for trading – including with binaries.
Before delving further into our joint quest for the top, best, binary options brokers, let us have a glance at what lies behind the behavior of brokers, to help us understand them better:

Top client retention tips for brokers

Having already established that both the online retail trading of forex and of binary options are especially competitive environments and both markets feature a plethora of brokers for existing and aspiring traders to choose from, this article deals with one of the main problems that brokers are faced with and which shapes much of their behaviour, namely the difficulty in retaining customers. Find out more here about why retaining a customer is extremely more difficult and demanding than winning that initial account opening and how brokers deal with this situation.

How to Choose a Binary Options Broker

Although daunting at first sight, the task of recognizing the best binary options brokers can be made easy and a smooth ride if you enlist your help and follow our various tips, insights, and advice as they unfold in the articles featured below, which examine the topic from various angles:

How to find the Best Binary Options Broker

It is true that the question of what actually makes the best binary options broker becomes more relevant and crucial than ever, mainly due to the rapid growth and expansion of the online retail binary options sector and the increasing numbers of traders who enter this world on a daily basis. Doing your research well before opening a trading account and committing funds in order to find the best broker to transact with is the wise thing to do, because the choice of broker is a very crucial factor for a trader’s overall successful experience with binary options trading. Read this informative article on how to find the best binary options broker and what you should consider during this process, but also bear in mind that the choice of broker alone, even if it is a good broker or even the best there is, is not sufficient and does not guarantee profitable trades, since it cannot, for example, offset a purely conceived or executed strategy.

Top Binary Options Brokers Compared

With so many online binary options trading brokers all fighting to beat the competition for your business you will notice that it can be difficult choosing the broker that is right for you. You then must be very pleased to find out that we here at binaryoptionswire.com have done all the hard work for you and are proud to present you with the result of our tools in the form of a table. The comparison table we have put together is designed to make it simple to browse and compare the features of our recommended trading binary options brokers. Each broker that has been included in this table has been tried and tested through trading on real live funded accounts. Only recognized brokers with proven worth and ones that we believe will continue to deliver a top experience for traders are included for consideration and are neatly presented here for you to take your pick:

The Truth About Binary Options Demo Accounts

The topic of demo accounts is a topic that really needs addressing as many beginners are not aware that binary options demo accounts even exist and they don’t know the many benefits that such a demo account can confer on their trading activities. Read this article to find out what binary options demo accounts are, how they differ from real accounts and what possibilities they open up for you and how they can help improve your trading experience and performance by allowing you to practice your skills without endangering your funds.

Who’s Offering Free Demo Accounts in Binary Options?

In this article, we reiterate our position that all binary options brokers should offer demo accounts and how these should be completely free of charge, as well as being unlimited and not require any initial deposit. The article comments on the fact that many brokers seem to be catching up with this trend and also includes a small list of binary options brokers that offer free unlimited demo accounts. These brokers, in our opinion, are taking a step in the right direction and we hope that they inspire other companies to follow suit. Read on to find out who’s making the changes to their demo account policy we called for in our previous article and reward them with your custom.

Regulation

Binary options are considered a proper financial instrument in many jurisdictions and are thus regulated. Regulation can help to greatly reduce the chance that a given broker will be a scam, but cannot eliminate completely the chance that a broker may engage in improper or at times unethical behaviors. Regulated brokers that scam investors or at least attempt to do so may well exist, although due to regulation this is a less likely phenomenon. On the flip side of the argument, there might be unregulated brokers that are honest and credible although they do not have the watchdog’s seal of approval. In a nutshell, not all unregulated brokers are scams, just as all regulated brokers are not necessarily scammed free. The articles that follow shed more light on the issue of regulation and binary options brokers:

What is a regulated binary options broker?

This article was written as a response to the great volume of queries we were receiving by users on the regulatory aspect of binary options trading. Read on to find out how, where and by whom are binary options regulated and gain a full lowdown regarding the current state of play vis-à-vis licensing and regulation in the binary options industry. Inter alia the article points out that is no one regulatory body, disallowing unregulated companies and granting licenses to those that are regulated and highlights the fact that even though practically every binary broker out there claims to be regulated, this is simply not true and traders should be informed and tread with caution.

What is the difference between a regulated broker and an unregulated one?

When a broker is regulated, the company must meet a number of strict criteria set out by the regulatory authority in the jurisdiction that grants the license and authorization. A good example is that the broker’s bank accounts have to be segregated in order to ensure the payment of benefits to clients regardless of the solvency or the financial situation of the company. Other criteria are imposed in order to ensure the authenticity of the quotations of instruments, the security of individual investors through warnings and protection systems against addiction and other issues, and they all need to be met and satisfied for a license to be obtained. Those brokers that manage to satisfy the requirements of a regulator and obtain authorization and a license to operate and offer their services may then claim to have a seal that guarantees their quality and transparency.

Important Clarification: The discussion on the topic of regulation does not mean that an unregulated broker is by definition a scam or a broker that has no ethics towards their clients. In addition, one should also bear in mind that at any given point in time there are a large number of binary options brokers that are in the process of obtaining their license and may well be meeting the criteria before their license is actually issued. The list of regulated brokers is not static since more brokers keep gaining this status around the world every day while others are having their licenses stripped if they are found in violation of regulations or unable to comply. It is, therefore, important to keep abreast of the relevant announcements made by regulators in this regard and you can easily follow this kind of developments by visiting the news section of our site which is regularly updated with announcements of the regulators concerning the good or bad standing of binary options brokers in each jurisdiction.

Interim Summary of the Discussion on Binary Brokers

Whichever broker you end up deciding to trust with your money and with your custom, make sure that your broker is truly and adequately in a position to help you boost the areas where you specifically want to focus your trading. You might even conclude that it is better to have an account with more than one broker, as this will allow you to benefit from differences in their offerings and may well help you grow your money faster. It is a good idea to open binary options demo accounts at all of the trading sites you consider trusting, in order to better determine your favorite. Remember, the broker you choose should be working with you and for you and not against you, so be picky, specific, critical and demanding when making your broker selection.

Broker Scam Investigator

Unfortunately, the Binary Options industry is particularly plagued by scams, leading many to wrongly equate the entire industry with fraud. For the well-informed trader, it is important to understand that not all the brokers in the industry are striving to scam investors. Binary options are legitimate investment tools that can be used to make a profit, and in that sense, they are not different from other investment tools. Other areas of the financial services industry have also been hit by scams and fraudulent agents, without having their legitimacy questioned.

The following is a list of tactics to watch out for:

Brokers may manipulate the market data presented to investors through the graphs and other means on their platforms.
Brokers may withhold withdrawals that were rightfully requested or delay the transfer of funds in a client’s account.
Brokers may use credit card information to keep on charging the investor without his or her approval.
Brokers may offer bonuses that aim to hold investor funds locked in and prevent them from cashing out their profits.
Brokers may attempt to use an investor’s personal information for unlawful purposes (identity theft).
The Great Binary Options Scam Part Eight: Binary Options Brokers

This article which is part of our Binary Options Scam Series is highly critical of brokers and is an eye-opener for many traders. It comments on how certain “brokers” who managed to convince you that they have extensive investment experience and will help you to become rich, are nothing more than salesmen and women, who when they turned up for their interview in their cheap suits they probably had as much investment experience as you do! The article questions whether such brokers’ employees have any expertise more than simply a penchant for bullshit and an ability to learn the terms of the trade. If you are intrigued, then read the full article to find out more.

Binary options withdrawing funds – Broker Investigator

Perhaps the most common problem encountered by traders of online retail binary options and the topic on which we receive the most complaints by readers here at binaryoptionswire.com is the topic of withdrawing funds or profits from one’s account. This is why we explored this topic in depth and have come up with some interesting findings and insights which detailed and presented in this dedicated article. Find out more about all sorts of delays and other hiccups that often arise when brokers are called to pay up and get help in discerning the truth and be able to identify what the real problem may be in each case, through revisiting the basics about the fund withdrawals process when trading binary options online.

http://binaryoptionsmentor.com/binary-options-brokers/

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»» Binäre Optionen zählen zu den sogenannten Finanzderivaten. Bei deren Handel werden die Geschäfte nicht mit dem An- und Verkauf von tatsächlichen Werten in Form von Wertpapieren, Rohstoffen oder Devisen gemacht. Vielmehr handelt es sich dabei um eine Zahlungsvereinbarung auf Basis einer Wette auf ein bestimmtes Ereignis.
»» Grundsätzlich gibt es bei einem Handel mit einer binären Option nur zwei Möglichkeiten: Tritt das Ereignis ein, auf das gewettet wurde, kann der vereinbarte Gewinn eingestrichen werden. Wurde falsch getippt, ist der eingesetzte Betrag verloren.
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› Ja oder nein, Gewinn oder Totalverlust – auf diese Möglichkeiten können Binäre Optionen reduziert werden. Es handelt sich wie auch bei Differenzkontrakten und Forex-Angeboten um hochspekulative und hochriskante Finanzprodukte, um die Anleger einen Bogen machen sollten. Die FMA rät Verbrauchern zu besonderer Vorsicht.
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